<p><span style="color: #262626;"><strong>興趣起源通常作為一份PS的開頭段落，往往決定了招生官閱讀的閱讀初體驗(yàn)和對「我」的初印象</strong>，能夠讓他們更直觀地了解「我」的動(dòng)機(jī)和目標(biāo)，重要性毋庸置疑。然而，從PS的通篇結(jié)構(gòu)和內(nèi)容上看，興趣起源涉及的專業(yè)性似乎遠(yuǎn)比不上科研和實(shí)習(xí)經(jīng)歷相關(guān)的陳述，因此，很多同學(xué)在構(gòu)思這一部分時(shí)，常常由于缺少明確的事件或?qū)I(yè)內(nèi)容支撐，便泛泛而談，&ldquo;天馬行空&rdquo;。</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">今天<strong>#心動(dòng)的文書#</strong>欄目，將與大家探尋如何另辟蹊徑，把興趣起源表達(dá)得更加明確和扎實(shí)，呈現(xiàn)出一份高含金量的personal statement。</span></p> <h2 style="text-align: left;">&nbsp;</h2> <h2><strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">跨申不展示自己的專業(yè)能力和思考，&ldquo;娓娓道來&rdquo;追憶人生</span></strong></h2> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span style="color: #262626;"><strong>Before</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">In the past, I was not really good at learning English and I didn't like learning English. <strong>【欲揚(yáng)先抑，但對跨申來說表述過于暴露短板，且后續(xù)內(nèi)容過于平淡沒有&ldquo;揚(yáng)&rdquo;起來，只有&ldquo;抑&rdquo;帶來的負(fù)面印象】</strong>Later, I enrolled in an extra-curricular English learning course. The teacher was funny, had a thorough understanding of English learning and was able to explain the grammar that I used to find confusing in an easy-to-understand way, which made me interested in learning English. And during his lessons, he would also share his stories with us as he saw fit, which was very inspiring to me. <strong>【流水賬式回憶，主體從the self偏移到the other】</strong>For the first time, I realised that a really good teacher can have such a great impact on students. Through this teacher's guidance, I gradually felt the charm of English and found a way to learn English later in my studies. I hope I can become an English teacher and teach English to more students who are as confused and uninterested in English as I was, so that more students can learn to learn English and feel the charm of learning English.<strong>【空泛套話，語氣不堅(jiān)定】</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;"><strong>After</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">My interest in English education and learning was already budding early. As my undergraduate major involved international business communication, which required certain English language skills, I once took an extracurricular English course that was completely different from the cramming English teaching model I had been receiving. <strong>【正面表述，強(qiáng)調(diào)本科國際商務(wù)與英語學(xué)習(xí)的關(guān)聯(lián)，以及對英語教學(xué)模式的關(guān)注，貼合申請專業(yè)】</strong>The instructor would teach English based on the underlying logic and theories of English linguistics, providing me with my first glimpse into the scientific framework of English education. Subsequently, out of interest, I independently studied many theories related to pedagogy, educational linguistics, and intercultural studies, as well as engaged in the XXX volunteer teaching project.<strong>【將陳述主體從the other引回the self，重點(diǎn)展示自己后續(xù)的專業(yè)積累】</strong> During this experience, I not only changed my role from a language learner to a language teacher, but also felt the meaning and value of language education through exposure to real-life teaching environments and subjects. This sense of achievement inspired me to take the next step along this path. <strong>【深挖思考，拒絕&ldquo;感受到了英語的魅力&rdquo;式套話，承上啟下】</strong>Therefore, after a period of deliberation after graduation, I chose to return to my hometown, a small city in southwest China where teaching resources were relatively scarce, to begin my formal English teaching practice. In these two years, I gradually realised the space for further improvement. Therefore, I decided to continue specialising in English teaching to improve my overall professional foundation in both English and educational aspects.<strong>【聯(lián)系個(gè)性化經(jīng)歷，兼顧情懷與專業(yè)度，聚焦于「我」】</strong>。</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;"><strong>Analysis</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">【案例背景簡介】：國際商務(wù)跨申TESOL</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">不難發(fā)現(xiàn)該生原來的表述打算采用的是欲揚(yáng)先抑的手法，以原先的&ldquo;不擅長/不感興趣&rdquo;來對比烘托當(dāng)下的&ldquo;擅長/興趣&rdquo;，<strong>但因?yàn)楹罄m(xù)花了大量篇幅陳述某個(gè)老師的影響，偏離了PS本該聚焦的「我」</strong>，導(dǎo)致招生官既不能從開頭那樣的&ldquo;抑&rdquo;式表述中感受到「我」的專業(yè)度，也不從后續(xù)內(nèi)容中感受到「我」的意向度，對于跨申來說非常不利。</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">因此，<strong>修改后的內(nèi)容直接轉(zhuǎn)向正面表述</strong>，交代從國際商務(wù)跨向英語教育的最初興趣萌芽點(diǎn)，使得大跨（商科跨語言教育）變得合理，同時(shí)借機(jī)展示「我」對相關(guān)現(xiàn)象和教育模式的關(guān)注。后續(xù)以某老師的教學(xué)方法引入，但還是<strong>明確「我」的主體</strong>，初步展示自己的理論基礎(chǔ)、相關(guān)背景和主觀思考，開門見山地告知招生官：「我」是有資質(zhì)申請你們專業(yè)的。最后結(jié)合自己的邊遠(yuǎn)地區(qū)教學(xué)經(jīng)歷，<strong>以&ldquo;教育資源的平衡分配&rdquo;為切入點(diǎn)，引出自己的教學(xué)理想和情懷，曉之以理，動(dòng)之以情</strong>。</span></p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <h2><strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">不顧申請專業(yè)的側(cè)重，一股腦堆砌看似貼合的內(nèi)容</span></strong></h2> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span style="color: #262626;"><strong>Before</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">It was during my teaching classes at university level that I first experienced the fascination of teaching as a teacher in the classroom. In courses such as Teaching Phonetics and Phonetics and Teaching Vocabulary and Vocabulary, where I was able to do simulated teaching exercises in the classroom, I was greatly motivated by the advice and comments I received from my classmates and teachers, and I also found that I discovered that teaching is really an art, and how to make students learn efficiently and happily is something I have been thinking about. In addition, in some of the teaching theory courses, such as Introduction to Chinese International Education, Language Teaching Methodology, Research on Teaching Chinese Abroad and Introduction to Second Language Acquisition, I have also gained a deeper understanding of the development, tasks and prospects of my major. I have also acquired a lot of professional knowledge related to language teaching. Driven by my passion for education and the desire to enrich my teaching experience and improve my teaching skills, I obtained my international teaching qualification and my domestic English teaching qualification, and I have actively participated in external internships.<strong>【教育相關(guān)的課程、專業(yè)背景堆砌】</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">After all these experiences, my passion for education has grown and I hope that I will be able to further my studies and attainments in this field, expand my horizons, increase my experience and make more achievements in the field of education and contribute more to the cause of education for humanity.<strong>【套路式陳述動(dòng)機(jī)】</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;"><strong>After</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">Majoring in Chinese International Education and having worked closely with children of all ages in my teaching practices, I am more concerned than ever with youth and childhood studies issues, especially the psychological crisis of children and adolescents.<strong>【從本科教育相關(guān)專業(yè)+幾段教學(xué)經(jīng)歷覆蓋了各個(gè)階段的學(xué)生引入，開始關(guān)注青少年研究板塊，重點(diǎn)：心理健康問題】</strong> According to Report on Child Suicide in China (2021), nearly 100,000 adolescents and children die by suicide each year in China. The large population and tradition of social struggle dictate that many children are forced into violent involution. <strong>【基于《中國兒童自殺報(bào)告》官方數(shù)據(jù)編寫，展示「我」對青少年心理健康問題之社會(huì)成因的分析：人口基數(shù)過大+中國社會(huì)&ldquo;奮斗&rdquo;的文化傳統(tǒng)】</strong>As a result, the pressure of schoolwork and competition undoubtedly becomes a major contributor to the high rate of youth suicide. During my internship as a K12 Chinese teacher at Xuesi, the Ministry of Education issued the Double Reduction Policy (reducing the burdens of daily homework and extracurricular training for students in compulsory education), which prompted me to re-examine the nature of education and the possibility of a truly benign development model for children.<strong> 【結(jié)合自己的教學(xué)實(shí)習(xí)經(jīng)歷+國內(nèi)的雙減政策】</strong>Moreover, I began to crave further study of the psychological and social mechanisms that shape the behaviour and values of children and adolescents. Therefore, I am now applying for your Child Studies programme.<strong>【從前面的批判性思考和研究報(bào)告分析引出具體的academic interest，加強(qiáng)意向陳述?！?lt;/strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;"><strong>Analysis</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">【案例背景簡介】：本專業(yè)申請教育大類，選校組合同時(shí)囊括側(cè)重教學(xué)實(shí)踐與側(cè)重批判教育研究的專業(yè)。</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">該生主申教育相關(guān)專業(yè)，其中利茲大學(xué)的兒童研究雖然仍然在教育學(xué)院下，但是相比常規(guī)的教育專業(yè)，這一專業(yè)<strong>更側(cè)重教育研究而非教學(xué)實(shí)踐</strong>，對申請人的社科理論和方法基礎(chǔ)存在一定要求，尤其是心理學(xué)和教育社會(huì)學(xué)相關(guān)，如：發(fā)展心理學(xué)、認(rèn)知心理學(xué)和社會(huì)心理學(xué)；統(tǒng)計(jì)學(xué)和研究方法等。并且，申請人對相關(guān)現(xiàn)象的敏感度、批判思考的能力也是考察的主要維度。</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">因此，修改過的后興趣起源并沒有像原來那樣機(jī)械羅列自己的教育理論和教學(xué)經(jīng)歷背景，而是轉(zhuǎn)向強(qiáng)調(diào)「我」在學(xué)習(xí)漢語國際教育以及在參與各個(gè)年齡段教學(xué)實(shí)踐過程中，關(guān)注到的青少年心理危機(jī)等問題，<strong>而且并不能點(diǎn)到現(xiàn)象即止，還需要進(jìn)一步點(diǎn)出原因</strong>：人口規(guī)模過大、競爭激烈、內(nèi)卷文化使許多兒童承受了巨大的壓力。這種主觀思辨正是PS中的亮點(diǎn)。隨后再跟學(xué)生在某教育機(jī)構(gòu)實(shí)習(xí)期間遇到<strong>&ldquo;雙減政策&rdquo;的背景事件</strong>，使得重新審視教育的本質(zhì)和兒童的培養(yǎng)模式的目標(biāo)變得合理。段落最后<strong>指明之后的具體學(xué)術(shù)興趣</strong>：進(jìn)一步研究塑造兒童和青少年行為和價(jià)值觀的心理和社會(huì)機(jī)制，奠定全篇真誠而堅(jiān)定的基調(diào)。</span></p> <h2 style="text-align: left;">&nbsp;</h2> <h2><strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">無視院校&amp;專業(yè)的顯隱性要求，沉浸式&ldquo;自我表達(dá)&rdquo;</span></strong></h2> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><span style="color: #262626;"><strong>Before</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">In my sophomore year, I participated in a Chinese and foreign student exchange event, similar to an English corner, in which I interacted in groups in class and then freely on campus. I was put in a group with an American student. I had a class with him and had coffee with him, and it was 31 December 2015, soon to be New Year's Day. We talked about New Year's Day, Chinese New Year and Christmas in his country. I used my speaking and listening skills to discuss with him about festive topics.<strong>【事例陳舊，過于基礎(chǔ)】</strong> Since then, I have wanted to communicate with people from different countries and cultures, to experience the clash of different languages and to understand the cultures of different places, and I also had the idea of teaching Chinese to foreigners, so that the world can appreciate the charm of Chinese, and also to teach each other and learn more about the culture and language thinking of other countries, and to realise my own value while imparting knowledge to others. So I want to study hard and study deeply in professional language and intercultural studies to strengthen my language skills and intercultural communication skills.<strong>【過渡僵硬，套路化，且篇幅過長】</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;"><strong>After</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">Majoring in journalism has equipped me with the basic qualities of a journalist. After graduation, I did not hesitate to choose a career as a news editor and joined Shenzhen News, a subsidiary of Shenzhen Press Group. However, with my dedication to journalism practice, my ambition gradually grew, and my future development direction was clarified. I hope to join top news agencies such as the BBC, Reuters and Xinhua as an international news reporter or professional editor. However, most of my previous exposure has been to domestic journalism, indicating that I still have a long way to go before becoming a qualified international journalist. Therefore, I would like to study professional writing in English, the cultural background of various countries, and the differences in word usage in international contexts in depth at my postgraduate stage. <strong>【根據(jù)Leeds網(wǎng)申系統(tǒng)的要求，直接開始回答第一個(gè)模塊的問題，用職業(yè)發(fā)展目標(biāo)連結(jié)本科背景和申請專業(yè)】</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">The University of Leeds is renowned for its quality research and education, and the MA in Professional Language and Intercultural Studies will provide me with an in-depth understanding of globalisation and intercultural contexts. The courses like English in International Communication, and International Organisations: Context, Theory and Practice will strengthen my prior background and offer me international insight.<strong>【結(jié)合學(xué)校和專業(yè)來寫，利茲大學(xué)極其看重申請人對專業(yè)的了解度和意向度??！】</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;"><strong>Analysis</strong></span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">【案例背景簡介】：本科傳播相關(guān)專業(yè)，申請利茲大學(xué)的專業(yè)語言與跨文化研究專業(yè)。</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">利茲大學(xué)通常雖然沒有特定的PS限制，但是這個(gè)專業(yè)必須注意學(xué)院提出的<strong>隱性要求</strong>：PS建議在500字左右，建議包含 (1)你為什么選擇這個(gè)專業(yè)項(xiàng)目; (2)就課程內(nèi)容和特定模塊概述你的背景和以前在該領(lǐng)域的研究; (3)展示你對模塊的理解，你會(huì)選擇學(xué)習(xí)哪些模塊以及為什么; (4)這個(gè)項(xiàng)目將如何幫助你實(shí)現(xiàn)職業(yè)目標(biāo); (5)解釋為什么你對利茲大學(xué)提供的特定課程感興趣，特別要提到為什么我們的理論重點(diǎn)與你相關(guān)。</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">&nbsp;</span></p> <p><span style="color: #262626;">不難發(fā)現(xiàn)，<strong>利茲大學(xué)在每一問中幾乎都要求申請人結(jié)合他們的專業(yè)來寫</strong>，對why programme看得非常重，因此原來的興趣起源只用一個(gè)英語角的&ldquo;樸實(shí)&rdquo;經(jīng)歷引入，后續(xù)也沒有結(jié)合申請專業(yè)來寫，<strong>很容易被招生官判定為敷衍，甚至有可能收獲拒信</strong>。修改過后的內(nèi)容直接從本科新聞&mdash;&mdash;之后想往國際記者版塊發(fā)展&mdash;&mdash;需要進(jìn)一步提高職業(yè)語言表達(dá)能力；增加對跨文化交際的了解&mdash;&mdash;Leeds的這一專業(yè)正好滿足需求。<strong>整條邏輯鏈下來既能使得跨申合理化，又營造了一個(gè)對專業(yè)意向性&amp;與專業(yè)適配性極高的候選人形象。</strong></span></p> <div class="qrcode-content-wrapper" contenteditable="false">&nbsp;</div>